It's almost Christmas

Most of us could compose a long list of those memorable quotes we pick up along the way throughout our journey. Things like, "It's better to give than receive" or "It's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game". You know the kind of thing.

However from my experience there are only a few definable moments in life when these quotes make the 12 inch journey from head to heart and actually become real.

I'm having one of those moments today.

I've heard all of my life that Christmas isn't about the presents and the food and the 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS. I've heard all of my life that Christmas is about family and that's taken 36 years and a set of circumstances I don't need to explain to really hit home.

On December the 25th my calenday said Christmas day and I spent it with a wonderful family who invited me to share their Chrsitmas. But is wasn't really my Christmas Day. On December 25th I opened presents, ate some incredible food, watched A Christmas Story on TBS and then ate some more. But it wasn't really my Christmas Day. On December 25th I spoke with my kids who were in New York and heard stories of Santa and stockings and snow. But it wasn't really my Christmas Day.

Tonight I'll drive to DFW airport to pick up the entire New York component of my family, and of course my children. Tomorrow will be Christmas eve and we'll hang stockings, begin eating and try and get the kids to sleep using threats and manipulation based on a fictitious fat man in a red and white suit. Then on the December the 30th it will finally be Christmas Day and all of the people I care about most in the the world will be in one place at one time and I don't care what happens after that because that right there is magical. That right there is Christmas.

You see while Christmas is many things to many people, the one, single most important thing for me at Christmas is being with people you love whatever day you choose to do that. It's taken me 36 years and a very hard journey to get that but i think i finally have.

Merry Christmas.

Thursday again

It's flipping freezing here in the great state of Texas. Last night's low temperature in Aubrey (where I live) was 15 degrees. That's crazy! Anyway, Thursday thoughts, no particular order, off we go...

• Did I mention it's cold.

• Finally got some festive decoration outside the house. Simple tasteful white lights on the 2 large bushes. now lets see if the kids even notice.

• Very grateful to my parents that they taught me things like basic manners, tact, consideration of others. Thats all I'm saying about that.

• Looking forward to a weekend with the kids which of course begins tonight. Emily has requested that we do some baking and I shall attempt to comply. Ben has requested that the world leave him the hell alone so he can play his DS and not listen to the booooring words coming out of your mouth. Just kidding.

• Have a growing list of things I need to get in preparation for Christmas including the practical items for my houseguests. Top item on the list is pillows. Today mum added coffee maker to her list of "absolutely necessesary items I really have to get before she comes at Christmas otherwise the world will end". The list now includes 2 items. The other is a gravy boat.

• I love my mother. She's so probingly direct. Thats all I'm saying about that one too.

• Kinda sorta half thinking about getting a dog in the New Year. Probably won't because if I'd followed every whim I've had in the last month I'd be sporting a large full mustache, have legally changed my name to Clint, have an ATM sign tattooed on my forehead and several people would be dead.

• Still waiting for my sinuses to clear out and this tickly cough to go away. Something tells me in this weather I'll be waiting a while.

• And that was a Thursday. Peace.

Storms

I was just going through some files on my computer and came across a video I made in 2006 after a year of battling health problems. Speaks for itself really...

Thursday Thoughts (by category)

METEOROLOGICAL

It's flipping freezing here in Texas, currently about 34 degrees with an overnight low in the 20s. Meanwhile New York enjoyed a balmy 65 degree day today. Thats just wrong.

FINANCIAL

My heat has been running non-stop since I got home from work. Something tells me my winter electric bills will be a big old dose of reality.

MUSICAL

Downloaded a song called You'll Carry Me by Michelle Margiotta a few days ago. It really struck a chord (pun very much intended) with me. I've always found music to be a great refuge when life gets nuts. I've never actually met Michelle but she's been helping out at Church at The Movies new Mastic campus and I hear she's doing a great job.

INSPIRATIONAL

The best defense against the disappointment of unfulfilled expectations is a plan B.
That's an original. Well actually it's a paraphrase of something my therapist said to me recently but I'm claiming it as mine.

ANGELICAL

The way my sleeping children looked when I checked on them a few minutes ago. I love having them under my roof and treasure the times they're here. Oh and I know it's "angelic" but I'm working on something creative here!

SEASONAL

Talked to my dad and my sister today regarding their visit to Texas at Christmas. I won't completely re-write my Thanksgiving post but the thought of having my family around my table in my house for a holiday is almost too incredible to describe in words. There were times in the last couple of years of my life when I honestly never thought I'd be where I am today. It's amazing and I am ridiculously blessed.

POLITICAL

How can an individual who's been in a job for 1 year be criticized for having a challenging time in cleaning up a mess that took another individual 8 years to make? Give the guy a chance people.

AGRICULTURAL

I bought a hedge trimmer and sculpted the two large bushes at the front of my house. The next step is to adorn them with Christmas lights in honor of the season (white of course, I only do white lights). Simple elegance is what I'm going for. I'll let the people down the street do the gaudy, cluster of inflatables and flashy things. My kids of course LOVE their house but I'm sure they'll be equally as impressed with daddy's simple elegance. Yeah right.

DENTAL

Emily has her first loose tooth. She's experiencing emotions ranging from excitement that a mythical fairy is going to come into her room at night and leave cash under her pillow to shear terror that part of her is going to fall out possible involving pain and blood. I personally think the notion of a fairy coming into my room at night and messing with my pillows sounds much more terrifying. Ben is of course playing the role of supportive big brother as only Ben can and telling her it will "really hurt".

MARSUPIAL

A Kangaroo.

That's about all I've got. Happy Thursday.

Head Health

Tuesday's have become an interesting day. A little over a month ago I decided that my efforts to overcome the raging ocean of thoughts and emotions swirling around my head, weren't working. With that in mind I decided to seek professional help. Since Lobotomies are apparently frowned upon these days I found myself a therapist.

This is a very big step for me as I generally believe that whatever the issue is I can fix it myself. I can't. It's not working. And if God had intended for us to be entirely self sufficient we'd all be living on our own little planet in a very crowded yet very lonely universe.

So Tuesday is my therapy day.

I'd kind of expected to go in there and tell her what's been going on in my life for the past few years and for her to slap a big band-aid on it all and that would be that. It has been however a very different experience and what I've appreciated about the woman is that she doesn't just want to band-aid issues but she wants to get to the root of them and correct the behaviors, habits, hurts, hang-ups and history which can often set us up for disappointments regardless of where life goes.

So Tuesday is my therapy day.

And so the rest of Tuesday often has this weird feeling. It's like when you have 3 days of nausea and you know you're getting sick, then finally the moment comes, you feel it climbing up the back of your throat, you run for the nearest toilet and hurl. You feel better, but for a moment, pre-flush, you're left staring at this pile of mostly mystery, stomach trash, thinking, "Ew...that was inside me?" That's kind of how my post therapy Tuesdays are.

So Tuesday is my therapy day.

And a month in it's probably the best decision I've made in a while. Hurt does not just go away. It rots and festers and eventually consumes the carrier. I'm not there yet but I am determined to get it all out. Even if I have to stick my fingers down my throat.

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I like Thanksgiving. I like the idea of a holiday which apart from the massive amount of food which is consumed and apart from the day of retail gluttony which follows it, is set aside in it's purest form for being thankful.

I can't help but remember my Thanksgiving 12 months ago. I was alone in my small one bedroom apartment, I was depressed, I was scared and uncertain of where life was headed. I'd decided to spend the day doing some projects on my computer and anything else I could think of to distract myself. I remember sitting on my apartment balcony and watching happy people below get in their cars and head off to their family gatherings. I honestly just wanted the day to be over.

A year later and life couldn't be more different. I just spent a great evening with the 2 most incredible children on the planet and sit here in a beautiful home looking at the Christmas tree my kids and I decorated this evening (eager to rearrange their ornament placement!)

Tomorrow Ben will wake me up way too early as always. We'll get up and ready and I'll spent quite some time convincing Emily why we should make some modifications to her "outfit". Then we'll hit the road, pick up Haley and head to Fort Worth to spend Thanksgiving with her family.

I've come to believe that if you're having a bad day it can look totally different tomorrow. Sometimes however "tomorrow" can take a year to come!

I am ridiculously blessed. I have so much to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving.

People Are Actually Reading This?!

I had a couple of conversations with family members today and it turns out that quite a few people are actually reading this thing! (Hello New York)

It was suggested to me that I tone it down a bit or something to that effect. Well sorry. Not going to happen.

I started writing on here from time to time primarily as a means of therapy more than anything else. The last 4 years of my life have for the most part been hell and I don't use that word lightly. I went from 2 years of fighting serious illness right into the last 2 years of what has been the most heartbreaking period of my life.

I had lunch recently with a friend who described the past few years for me as "pushing a boulder up a hill" and to be quite honest I'm looking forward to getting to the top of the hill and watching the darn thing roll of into the distance on the other side!

Truth is next week I'll experience (was going to say "celebrate" but yeah right!) my 36th birthday. One of many of my mother's famous quotes is that we're promised "3 score and 10 years". That 70 for those of you who speak English. So that being said I'm halfway to my eternal rest. And I don't know a darn thing!

So if you're on here reading this, looking to be inspired, click HERE this guy does it probably better than anyone I've ever known. In the meantime if you're still here I'd welcome you to take this journey with me. I'm not perfect, I make TONS of mistakes, in almost 36 years and the single biggest lesson I've learned is that I still have a lot to learn and I have good days and bad days, both of which often find their way onto these pages.

So if you're still with me, welcome aboard. Laugh with me. Cry with me. Learn with me. And for goodness sake if you have any suggestions as to how I can do this thing called life better, let me know!

Weekend's Over

The weekend's over. The kids are gone. The house is quiet.

• Great weekend with the kids and the dog, Samson. I'm not a huge animal person but don't mind having the dog from time to time since from what I can gather his life in his main residence isn't that wonderful.

• Watched Ben play his last Fall Ball baseball game yesterday. In his last at bat of the season he effortlessly hit a monster drive to the outfield. Perhaps the biggest of his young career. It's a great feeling when your kids is the one wowing the other parents.

• Bit the bullet and checked out COC Metro Church
which meets in the school around the corner. I hate the notion of church hopping but I've recently moved to a new town and in many ways need to start living my life where I'm at now.

• Love it when my Emily says the awkward things that need to be said. I do however wish the other adult party could be a little more accepting of the new reality. Also wish the naysayers had actually asked me what the truth was rather than inventing a reality to fit their agendas. Who knows maybe they read this. You know who you are!

• Back to the funny farm tomorrow. Mondays at the office have been weird lately. In fact the office in general has been weird lately. Something is off, hopefully it re-aligns itself soon.

• My son is an incredible human being in his own complex way. Too much to write here he just is.

• I've said this a million times but if I die tomorrow I'll be perfectly content in the contribution I've given to the world in Ben and Emily Blackmore.

• Haley's been sick since Friday. Headed out to check in on her in a few.

Halloween

I spent the first half of my life growing up in a tiny village in the North East of Scotland. The kind of place where you pass gas and the entire place knows about it. The kind of place where if your dad was the village clergy you were held to a standard most kids couldn't live up to. The kind of place where pumpkins didn't grow and on October 31st we carved turnips, yes turnips. The kind of place where it was OK to do the Halloween thing.

I remember one such chilly October evening my sister and I were knocking on doors, trying to do our best to fill our bags and rot our teeth. We decided to knock on the door of an older couple who were members of the church. The door opened and we were immediately lectured about the evils of Halloween, told that their household didn't endorse devil worship and that our bags of candy would be the weights around our necks which would eventually drag us straight to hell. OK so i embellished a little but it did happen something like that. Fortunately we were wearing masks to disguise our sinful faces otherwise i'm sure it would have escalated into an epic village incident culminating in my father being driven from the pulpit.

Later in life, living in New York and having children of my own, we followed the norm there. Halloween was typically frowned on by the church and most churches offered alternatives for kids which still allowed them to get dressed up and get all hopped up on MMs.

Living in Texas we again discovered a different norm. Most of the people here, even the church people do Halloween. So for the past 4 years living in Texas, October 31st rolls around and my kids go trick or treating. I've been incredibly impressed on each of these Halloween evenings, when walking around neighborhoods with the kids, at the incredible sense of community. People are on the streets, people are interacting and last year we even encountered a couple of homes offering free hot dogs.

I like it. I don't like the gruesome macabre side of things. I think some of it is downright sick. I don't endorse devil worship. What I do endorse is kids being kids. My kids love to dress up and they love candy and I don't think for a second and of this will lead them to joining a coven or sacrificing babies in the woods later in life.

As a parent I am ultimately responsible for the upbringing of my kids and my kids alone. If you choose not to do the Halloween thing with your kids thats entirely up to you.

So on Saturday evening, an eight year Snake Eyes from the GI Joe movie, a five year old rock star, their mom and I will touring the neighborhood trying to amass enough candy to rot all of the teeth out of their mouths several times over and more importantly so much candy that they'll never notice me stealing half of it.

We had a dress rehearsal tonight. They look great.

Blissful Solitude

I miss my kids. Simple as that. It's a situation that is not ideal, a situation which never gets easier but you do get used to.

So in the interest of taking my thoughts captive and turning a negative into a positive, here are my...

Top 10 Reasons Why It's Good To Be Alone

10. I can keep the temperature in my house the way I like it.

9. Lower utility bills.

8. My schedule belongs to me (when it's not baseball season, Thursday evenings, dropping the kids at school,  parent teacher conferences, every other weekend or any of the countless hours my schedule belongs to JC Penney etc, etc, etc...)

7. Smaller grocery bills.

6. I can leave the toilet seat up (even though after years of "training" I seldom do).

5. My house never gets particularly dirty.

4. I watch what I want to watch on TV (even though I don't watch much TV and when I do it's usually stuck on ESPN).

3. Peace and quiet.

2. My washer and dryer have it pretty easy.

1. When my kids are here it makes the time that much more special.

Great Expectations

Just read an interesting quote by a guy called Elliot Larson, who said...

"Anger always comes from frustrated expectations"

So true.
The fact is that for most of my adult life, most of the struggles, disappointments and anger I've experienced came about as the result of expectations which myself and others (but mostly myself) had put on me.

I have a terrible habit of planning out significant chunks of my life down to the most minute detail before they've even happened and when inevitably the reality of life plays out I get upset, uptight and downright disappointed which leads to feelings of failure, resentment and often anger.

Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with planning or having goals but this is something different. There are often a number of different roads we can take to get to our goals and being fixated on only one of these roads sets us up for failure before we even embark on the journey. I'm learning that the path we take is constantly evolving, packed with surprises around each bend and that flexibility is a key part of maintaining my sanity.

So as for those expectations; what does THE man say about them in THE book?

Matthew 22:37-39

"Jesus replied:"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself"

Thats it. I take the path God leads me on. I endeavor to live a life pleasing to him along that road. I love the people he puts in my way on the journey.

Great (but simple) expectations.

Friday Favorites

It's an otherwise dreary Friday morning but i'm listening to some awesome music so here's a list of some of my other favorite things this morning.

Favorite Song- "Crawl" Kings of Leon

Favorite Color- Purple

Favorite Drink- Large Tea, skimmed milk, 4 Splenda, sounds gross but i'm becoming quite dependent on it in the mornings

Favorite Texas season- Fall

Favorite People- Ben and Emily

Favorite Quote- That Which Does Not Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

Favorite state of mind- Confused

Favorite Super Heros- Spider-Man and Wolverine (B and E dressed as them for a special day at school this morning, i offered Emily Super Girl and Bat Girl costumes, she chose Spider-Man. Love it.

Favorite place to be right now- at my desk, good music, working

Favorite Place to be when i'm not here- kind of starting to dig my back patio lately

Favorite electronic gadget- my iPod Touch

Tales From the Crapper

I've heard from a couple of sources recently that people actually read this and a great multitude are eagerly awaiting my next installment of wisdom. Little do these people know that telling someone with the last name of Blackmore that you're remotely interested in what they're saying is like telling and Anorexic that they could lose a few pounds. The mind boggles but anyway...

So I recently took the plunge and moved out of the box I was living in and purchased a house in the well known rural homestead of Aubrey Texas.

One of the main differences between most of the houses I was familiar with in New York and the houses I've lived in in Texas is found in the master bedroom. If you're lucky enough to have your own exclusive "en suite" bathroom it generally has a special room within a room reserved solely for the porcelain throne or crapper.

And if you're ever lucky enough to enter my master crapper you'll find that as you're sitting there doing what nature requires us all to do, there are 3 picture frames hanging on the wall directly in front of you. This is no accident because I know for sure that on a daily basis or sometimes twice daily, depending on my fiber intake and certain Jewish holidays, I will find myself sitting there and the wall in front of me will have my full attention.

So here's my bathroom viewing...

1- There's a copy of a poster issued by the British government during WW2 which contains the simple phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On". It was hanging in an identical spot in my former residence and in a manner which only the Brits can do, has actually helped me a great deal during the last year of my life. The sky is falling, the bombs are dropping, tally ho, bangers and mash, fish and chips, stiff upper lip and get on with life.

2- There's a framed copy of Psalm 91, given to me by my awesome Mum a few years ago when I was facing a mountain of uncertainty and concern with serious health related issues. I don't have the whole thing memorized but love the opening lines...

"He who dwells in the shelter of the most High

Will rest in the shadow of the Almighty

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust"

3- There's another framed passage from the bible. this time from Proverbs 30. I remember sitting in church last year right in the middle of the stress of divorce, facing tremendous financial hardship and a hailstorm of lies and accusations. The guy speaking read these words and I knew it was destined to be framed in the crapper...

"Two things I ask of you O Lord

Do not refuse me before I die:

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches

but give me only my daily bread."

It doesn't hurt to choose some words to live by and remind ourselves of those daily. It doesn't hurt to keep those words in a place where we'll see them often. In my case it's the crapper. Nature calls. Goodnight.

Stress Happens

Someone recently pointed out to me that over the last 3 years of my life i've checked off several of what are commonly known as the major stresses in life. It had never occurred to me.

In some ways i've just come to realize that life isn't always a bed of roses and very often the experiences we go through are just God's way of preparing us for something else or someone else around the corner.

Anyway for some reason i decided a few moments ago to look up the 10 list and they were right.

In about the last 4 years of my life i've gone through a major relocation, followed almost immediately by 2 years of serious health issues, followed by a year long divorce, followed by a large financial "adjustment", followed by another move. That makes 4 (5 if you count both moves) out of the top 10.

And what have i learned? Not quite sure!

I guess i've learned that the same incredible stubbornness thats lead me to ignore almost every conventional means of dealing with stress has also been my salvation. I'm fiercely committed to being the type of person i believe i should be and living the type of life i believe i'm meant to be living. And i'm fiercely determined that those plans and that path will not be altered by the hailstorm of (often man-made) crap which has been raining on me for a few years now. Of course thats not to say that every day of the last 48 months has been a study in overcoming life's challenges!

By the way i've also learned that the next time one of the top 10 comes my way i'm hiring a full time therapist, doing yoga, ordering a case of Xanax and living in church!

Stress happens.

Boy's Night

Tonight was a good night. No. Tonight was a great night.

It began when i went to pick up the kids from their mom and found that she was babysitting 3 little girls who are some of Emily's closest friends. That was it. She wanted to stay with them and i wasn't about to crush a little 5 year old's heart in the name of adhering to a court ordered schedule, so we had a boy's night, just the two of us.

I told Ben we could go to dinner wherever he wanted, any restaurant anywhere, it didn't matter to me. So we ate at Burger King. The draw of a cheaply made Chinese toy in a brown paper sack is a powerful thing!

We ordered ice-cream sundaes to go and headed back to my place, loud rock music blasting from the car speakers again at Ben's request.

We ordered a pay-per-view movie, Superman Returns and settled back to watched the caped one battle the forces of evil once again.

For a moment during the movie, with my son's head on my chest, there was no place i'd rather have been. It was awesome.

The movies was about 2 and half hours long. It ended and all was going well as i settled Ben into bed. Then it happened...

Out of the corner of my eye i saw a lonely little stuffed bulldog sitting on the floor, next to it a crumpled pink nightgown and a few bricks of Lego. It's been great to spend an evening with Ben and we'll have a fantastic day tomorrow but there's something missing; my tenderhearted, mischievous angel with dirty wings. I miss my little girl.

In every dark cloud that's inhabited my sky in the last year, God painted two bright shining silver linings and tonight i miss one of them very much.

Back in the saddle again

• Apparently the previous post about a very cool table is "annoying" to some cheeky git who's apparently interested in my musings so here's a new post (Dad).

• Back at work today after a week of vacation and about 8 or 9 days with my awesome children. I'd be lying if i said i didn't like the industry i work in and after what's approaching 14 years doing pretty much the same job with slight variations, I'm happy that i can truthfully say i still enjoy it. Of course i could live without the almost daily politics that come with corporate culture.

• The time spent with the kids was great. Simple as that. Challenging as anytime spent with a 5 and 7 year old can be at times but overall wonderful. Of course it only pisses me off more to think that one of the lies propagated by a small minded few was that i've somehow pursued a life apart from my children which i believe to be more "fun". Time with my kids is the most precious thing in the world to me and a lot of fun!

• Got an email from my lawyer today which immediately sent chills down my spine. Once i'd summoned the courage to actually open it i was relieved to read that she just wanted to say hello and see how i was doing. Funny.

• Favorite Local Charity continues to hint at poverty while all external signs seem to point more towards excess. Also funny.

• The clocks ticking down towards closing on my house and leaving this palatial one-bedroom penthouse which i've called home for over a year now. I shall deeply miss my downstairs neighbor who gets her panties in a wad if i do more than tiptoe around my abode. Hope the next residents are troupe of acrobats. I am devilishly looking forward to the day the movers come in a coupe of weeks and start moving furniture down the stairs. Maybe her angry little head will just explode.

• Ben and Emily start their new school tomorrow. I'd be lying if i said it didn't hurt a bit to not be there when they leave home. I have learned however during the last year to do my utmost to milk every little drop of joy and fun and love out of the times we do spend together which in many ways is much more fulfilling than the broken situation we lived in before.

• I did go with the kids to their school this evening and meet their teachers. They both seemed a little reserved and quiet but i know they're the kind of kids who will not only adapt to their new surroundings but thrive in them.

• I've completed the to-do list of things i needed to set up or buy for the new house. The best part was working with the kids to get all the bits and pieces for their new rooms. They both ended up with rock-themed bedding. My kids, like their father, love music. I've dreamed for the last year of working back to the place where i could be in a house and the kids could have their own rooms. September 10th (closing day) will be a huge milestone and i'll enter the new place knowing that this is something i've worked for, sweated for, saved for, worried about, lost sleep over, cried about and dreamed about for 12 long months. There's something to be said for avoiding the silver platter route and accomplishing something on your own. Good stuff.

Drippy

This table is just cool. Great design.

Tuesday

Wow it's been a while although i'm not exactly sure how long as i managed to disable the date at the top of each post and can't figure out how to get it back.



~Just realized it's actually Wednesday but can't be bothered to change the picture. Tuesday was spent at home on the couch with some unexplained "gastric issues" although the salad bar at good old JCP is looking mighty guilty. Monday's lettuce offering seemed a tad old and limp.

~So sold the house. Used some of the proceeds to pay off what was left of my legal debt from the last year. Fortunately had paid the majority of it throughout the year thanks to good old fashioned tightening of the belt. Gave a chunk to my favorite local charity and now have a bit left to buy a new place.

~An incredible amount of money was robbed from my children's future during the last year to ensure an outcome which had been an the cards from the beginning. Some people just like fighting.

~I'm discovering that my home-buying money goes a lot further 20 minutes away from the office as opposed to 5 minutes away from the office.

~I love India. I love Indian people. I LOVE Indian food. But why, when i'm trying to pay off a credit card, do i have to be transferred to one of these awesome people overseas who is having trouble communicating with me in the only language i speak?

~Been inundated with questions about a series of photos i posted on Facebook recently. Do i need to spell it out? I think i can get on with life now.

~Thanks to summer scheduling I don't see the kids for another 10 days which sucks. I still find a system which was put in place to combat the "deadbeat" element to be seriously lacking.

~I'm officially over yet another Texas summer. SInce i've lived here every summer seems hotter than the previous one. We seem to have had tones of 100+ days lately and for a prissy little girl like me who doesn't like being all sweaty and smelly it's torture!

~About to start the Fall season of development at JCP. It's the biggest chunk of work we do in the year and the most entertaining on account of the scores of people who lose their flipping minds over the color of a $6 tee shirt or the placement of a button. But i'm just old and jaded.

~Found a book of poetry i wrote around the age of 16 when moving things out of the old house. It's 98% about girls, it's dark and it will definitely be getting posted on here!

~My sister did something incredibly thoughtful for me and the kids a couple of weeks ago, right after my mom spent several days in TX watching my kids while i had to work. I have perhaps the most amazing (not the most perfect) family on earth.

~And thats about all i can think of for now

Prepare the way!

Tomorrow's a big day.

Tomorrow morning my two favorite people arrive in the form of my children followed a few hours later by our special guest from New York, my mom.

I've spent the last couple of days, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning out, scrubbing, de-gunking and of course stocking my pantry so that mom's food selection is a little broader than beer and chips. I've bought tea and milk, the kind of bread she eats and oatmeal, and ingredients that will hopefully make real grown up meals.

I've even hung the shelf in my bedroom that's been leaning against the wall for a month and bought one of those extra-long chains for the bedroom ceiling fan so she doesn't have to get up to adjust it.

I mentioned my activities to someone at work who suggested that my mom must be quite demanding. I had to laugh. She isn't.

But you see for as long as I can remember this amazing woman has sacrificially done everything in her power to make my life the best it could be, from changing my diapers to verbally kicking me in the butt when i've needed it (and continues to do so).

So some clean sheets and her tea are the least I could do.

Resession Obsession

So this weekend was hot. I mean really hot. Like surface of the sun hot where after fifteen seconds outdoors your inner thighs start to get clammy and that "less than fresh" feeling takes over. You know what I'm talking about.

That being said I decided that my personal path to freshness meant spending as little time outside as possible and so my couch and I spend some quality moments together this weekend.

I'm getting to a point in my life where I'm OK with "vegging". I'm not terribly good at it and do get antsy or feel guilty as there are more productive things I could be doing but it's work in progress and a great alternative to sweaty inner thighs.

Anyhoo...

Being on the couch more that usual of course meant watching TV more than usual which was fun for a while. Problem is I just found myself becoming increasingly pissed off at the pure volume of recession based commercials!

The sheer hypocrisy of the "we understand times are hard, we know you have no money, have lost your job, your car and your house" but if you give us what little money you have left we'll give you some crap you don't need at a slightly reduced price. Drove me nuts. Seriously if I hear the phrase "in times like these" again I'll scream!

I was going to say I'd throw the TV out of the window but then I'd have to go take advantage of Best Buy's recession savings now wouldn't I?

It's a funny world.

Michael once again...

Just finished watching an online broadcast of the Michael Jackson memorial service and wanted to write a few thoughts while they're fresh in my mind...

Michael Jackson made an incredible impact on the face of popular music and to the "older" generation who don't get it and wonder what all the fuss is about...my generation's Elvis just died.

There are 3 children in the world today, regardless of what you personally think of their family unit who really miss their daddy.

Michael Jackson was a human with struggles and demons just like every single one of us on the planet. Difference of course was that MJ's struggles were played out in public. I wonder how the rest of us would fare if our demons were slapped all over every newspaper and media outlet on planet earth. Glass houses people.

Innocent until proven guilty has to mean just that even when the world says differently. Otherwise everything this country was built on is worthless.

Brooke Shields has aged beautifully. Sorry had to get that one in.

MJ holds a Guiness record for having given more money to charity than any other recording artist in history. The rest were too busy sticking it up their noses. When he was seriously burned by Pepsi he used the legal settlement to build a burn unit along with supporting about 40 other charities and performing countless other charitable acts. What burns me (no pun intended) is that MJ was apparently more devoted to the "work of the gospel" than most of those who have written him off in the name of Jesus.

Al Sharpton's comments actually moved me. Wow.

The older I get the more sickened I am by the ignorrant surface judgement of people.

Loved Usher's rendition of Gone Too Soon

Belated Fourth

I had every intention of writing something meaningful here on July 4th to recognize our great nations birthday but spent much of the day in a country home near Fort Worth basically stuffing my face (which is by the way an incredibly "American" thing to do).

Anyway somewhere in the midst of the the unbelievable home made hamburgers, peach cobbler, home made ice cream and home made potato salad, all which later that night led to some severe gastric distress (but i have no regrets)...

Somewhere in the midst of the fact that is was at least one thousand degrees after dark while i sat in a lawn chair and watched a neighborhood fireworks display which rivalled anything professional i'd ever seen...

Somewhere in the midst of being fascinated by the family (awkward 15 year old included) who showed up dressed head to toe in red, white and blue. Which i'm sure was insisted upon by the mother who by the way was one of those people who began talking as she was walking in the door of the home and did not stop, for one moment, for hours. Her husband on the other hand stood behind her and did not open his mouth, not once...

Somewhere in the midst of the food, the fireworks and the weird patriotic apparel, i was incredibly thankful. Thankful that i live here, thankful that some 9 years ago i was able to make the choice to become a citizen of this nation, thankful that my children, having been born here, will be offered a world of opportunities they may never have had elsewhere.

And last but not least. Thankful, so thankful for Mylanta.

Why???

I would seriously poop myself.

CLICK HERE

Thursday Mind Dump

The fact that it feels like a million degrees outside at 7am here on the surface of the sun gives me the distinct impression that today will be yet another hot one.

Watched yet another Michael Jackson special last night. I really think you have to be a thirtysomething to truly get this. When i was a kid in the 80's, particularly a kid who was really into music, Michael Jackson was a big deal. In fact Michael Jackson was the big deal. And despite all of his weirdness, much of which i'm sure his father needs to answer for, the guy was incredibly talented.

Today is Thursday but actually Friday. Kinda sorta. Thanks to July 4th falling on a Saturday we get Friday off work. Couple of events in the social calendar this weekend. Both of which will i'm sure involve loads of food and make it increasingly difficult for me to fit into my bikini this summer.

I'm continually baffled by the fact that corporate America allows certain individuals to do absolutely nothing and be compensated for it. Individuals who know how to say the right things to the right people at the right time and do diddly squat the rest of the time. Hopefully that was vague enough.

Still hoping and praying for the swift sale of the house which i once lived in and still pay for. Certain legal scenarios were put in place surrounding the sale of the house which result in a very tight timeframe to get the thing moved and a lot of upheaval for all involved if it doesn't sell soon. The proposed timeframe was not my idea and i think it ludicrous at best. But whatever.

Still absolutely loving the iPod touch i was given recently. Plus i'm old enough to marvel at the technology too.

Did I mention i have a 3 day weekend? Sweet.

Stinks on a plane

I'm safely back on the surface of the sun after 10 mostly rainy but otherwise quality days with the family in New York.

The 3 and a half hour journey from JFK to DFW was an interesting one.

I could go on at length about the fact that i had a screaming toddler directly behind me who wouldn't settle, who spent about 3 hours and 29 minutes of the flight attempting to detatch the tray table from the back of my seat.

I could talk about the fact that the aformentioned toddler's parents kept doing the tag team thing to try and tame the beast and their other seat (in the 4 across plane) was the window seat next to my aisle seat and i had to keep getting up as they high-fived and dove in the ring for another round with little satan. But let's leave them alone because we've all been there and suffered the glowers of 200 other people, while our kid decided to have the meltdown of their lives and there was absolutely nothing short of killing them we could do about it.

I'm not going to mention the fact that it was 8000 degrees on the plane and the the "personal fan" was constructed to cool the brows of those 5'5" and under and couldn't be adjusted to the correct angle to cool my 6'4" noggin.

No we're going to talk about odor. Stink. People's stink.

It was a muggy day in New York the day we departed. I had worked up a bit of a sweat a few hours before we left playing in the band in my Dad's church. Aware of the fact that I was to be sitting in close proximity to other humans in a relatively small (and as it turned out, hot) metal tube, I took a shower.

Unfortunatley it would seem that i was sitting in the section of the plane where many of the other passengers opted to skip attempts at personal hygiene that day and just smell the way God intended them to which in some case was a cross between dirty diapers and wet dog. Yum yum yum delish.

But those are not atop my worst offened list by any means. No. That hallowed spot is reserved for the people who knowing full well they are sitting in close proximity to other humans and its 8000 degrees and we already have a potpurri of man stink going on, decided that they need to share their ass stink with the world too. That's right gas. Farts. Farting on a plane. A metal tube with no real source of ventilation. A metal tube with other human beings literally touching you. Awesome.

Now it was a 7:30 flight and i'm sure that for a great many people this was just a natural reaction to their bodies digesting whatever they'd eaten for dinner but for the love of all things holy exercise some sphincter control or go squish yourself into the pokey little bathroom located only 6 rows back and have a gassy fiesta.

I actually got to the point where all i had left to wish for was that the flatulence would make the screaming, tray table killing, flailing devil child behind me succumb to the fumes and pass out.

Interesting flight.

New York, New York

Having a great time being with the family here in New York although the weather is n't exactly summer-like particularly compared to the temperature in the great state of Texas pushing 100 degrees on an almost daily basis.

Drove to New Jersey last night for the wedding of an old friend Jen who i worked with in my previous company. Took 2 hours to get there after a picturesque little bumper-to-bumper jaunt in torrential rain through the quaint little neighborhood known as the Bronx.

Wedding was beautifil. Bride was beautiful. I realized the new shape of my life when following the bride and groom's first dance they called everyone to join them on the dance floor. My table emptied and i sat there alone.

Boo hoo.

Before you feel too sorry for me i did have an opportunity to have a guest at the wedding it just didn't work out. I do however have every intention of bringing her next time!

Words to Live by

I consider myself to be quite forgetful. I tend to forget things mere moments after i've read them or heard them which can be incredibly frustrating at times. That being said i've developed systems including calendar reminders, sending emails back and forth to myself and occasionally the old faithful post-it notes.

There are 2 phrases however, spoken by 2 men who've been very influential in my life, which have embedded themselves in my brain and stayed there for the good part of 20 years.

In 1991 I graduated from high school and had planned to spend a year in New York then return to Scotland to go to art school. During that summer we realized that if I'd lived outside of the UK for a year I wouldn't be eligible for the government grant which would pay for my 4 years of college. Panic set in and my parents and I frantically set about working out the details of my return to Scotland that fall. 

One of the biggest issues was that I had no place to live so as a typical teenager would I left it to my dad to figure out the issue.

The lucky recipients of my presence were Doug and Fiona McIntyre, friends of my parents, who live in the same town as my college.

I was a pain in the ass. Plain and simple. Although probably not a great deal different to many other 17/18 year olds. Irresponsible, confused and pretty scared about being a "grown up".

Doug really took me under his wing without any obligation to do so.

I remember driving in his car one night, me probably spouting off about how tough it is to be me, and how confused I am, and how hard I have it. Me me me.

Doug with all the patience in the world turned to me and said...

"You need to remember that most of the time your biggest weakness is also your biggest strength"

Wow. Deep. But incredibly useful and something which has stayed with me to this point in life.

It's easy at times for us to sit and create long lists about how useless we are but when you flip it around its amazing what you can do with your shortcomings and failures. It's all about perception.

The other statement was around the same period of life. I had been dating a girl and was contemplating ending it for the prospect of bigger and better things. (girls...but not bigger, just better)

 I was talking it over with my dad, and he uttered the statement...

"Don't throw your life away for a dream"

The obvious irony here being that my father is one of the biggest dreamers/visionaries I know.

Again this one has stayed with me to this point in my life.

Now I don't think we're meant to mindlessly settle for the status quo but it's so easy at times to let our minds drift to what our lives could be and discard all of the good things God has allowed to come our way. Still working on this one.

I consider myself to be quite forgetful..........

Things I've learned from my kids this weekend

In no particular order, I've learned...

• That the trade-off for 5 awesome hours at the pool with the kids is tired and uncooperative little dears at bed time.

• That a nasty sunburn is a small price to pay for 5 awesome hours at the pool with the kids.

• That when you say you're going to bring Tootsie Rolls to the pool and forget, you might as well have killed their puppy.

• That children experience doubts, fears and questions not all that much different to us "grown-ups". They just know how to verbalize them and still sleep at night.

• That the simplest things like watching cookies bake, reading a story, eating spaghetti or a poolside water gun fight, with my kids, are magical and unforgettable experiences, yet cost nothing.

• That I never want to stop learning from my children.

• That nothing, NOTHING, in the universe compares to having my children in my arms.

• That I could memorize every book ever written and my vocabulary would still be lacking the words necessary to fully express how much I love these kids.

The Journey

I spent the evening yesterday in a funeral home in downtown Fort Worth. I was attending the visitation the grandmother of someone very close to me who had passed away at the weekend. Catherine's journey had lasted 80 years until cancer finally ended it.

It's fascinating and sobering all at the same time to stand there and look back at the entirety of someone's life. I saw her high school yearbook, her wedding album, pictures of family vacations, holidays and time spent with grandchildren. Then of course there's the true legacy, generations of people who's lives were conceived and impacted by hers; friends, sisters, sons, daughters and grandchildren.

I had met Catherine just once while she was still alive but even someone who had never met her could have easily figured out 3 things in that room last night...

She was loved. She had lived. She had left a lasting impression.

When my journey's over i'd be more than happy to settle for those three things.


Read these great quotes on my dad's blog today...

A ship is safe in the harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.
William Shedd

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Bombeck

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
Alan Sachs

Snot Funny

I'm still dealing with the after effects of the nasty cold my beloved children seemed to have left with me last weekend. I feel much better but still have a head full of mucus. This morning I took a little trip to my neighborhood Wally World and got some mucus fighting meds. I've taken 2 pills and still feel really congested.

Anyway the real point is that for days now i haven't been able to fully taste what i eat. To someone like me there can be few things that impact me to this extent of this particular predicament. I love food. I love the taste and the flavors of food. SO my first question is...

Why am i still eating?

Followed quickly by the question...

If i can't taste the food and yet am still sticking things in my piehole then do i get as much pleasure out of the act of putting food in my mouth as i do when tasting it?

I know. It's deep...

Picture says it all...

People Matter

So I spent the past 2 days sitting on my couch. Literally 2 days all day sitting there. My beloved offspring with their inability to contain coughs and sneezes left me with some mucus spewing demon up my nose. The question has to be asked, how come a 5 and 7 year old can be choc full o mucus and still run around like hyperactive squirrels and I get a wiff of this and it puts me on my rear end watching endless re-runs of CSI for 2 days? Weird.

Reluctantly I decided to come back to work today, mucus demon still hanging on. For some reason if you come back to work after one day out no one believes you were really sick, if you come back after 3 days out people think you were milking it so I opted to make my return today.

Now being the good (ex) Brit that I am I like to go to one of our awesome coffee "facilities" (that makes it sound more """corporate""") here at JCP and get a large tea in the mornings. That would be the hot kind with milk and sugar(splenda) and not the iced crap. I generally walk over there with one of my team depending on who's around and say good morning to the same friendly lady at the checkout.

Bear in mind there are 5000+ people working in this building.

So I get to her, tea in hand this morning and she says, "I hear you've been under the weather for a couple of days, good to see you."

Thats impressive and totally cheered me up.

Now she could be...

A) A stalker...No just seems like a nice old lady
B) "into" me...Did I mention the "old" part?
C) Doing her best to provide the best service she can even if it's at a cashier's post in a coffee shop.

I'm going to go for C. The world is about people. Business is about people. Relationships are about people. Being nice to people motivates people.

Genius I know but you'd be amazed how many people I encounter daily who "oversee" (intimidate) people and often drive German luxury cars and live in gated communities who still don't have a clue what it's all about!

People matter.

...and away

Had an excellent day with the kids today. I'm tired, i'm sunburnt but thoroughly satisfied.

One of the highlights of the day was a trip to see the new animated offering from Disney/Pixar called Up.

Now despited what several reviews and people who've seen it say, i really liked it, as did the kids.

I thought the message of the movies was great. It basically told the story of two men who at the twilight of their lives were both driven by one goal and despite having this in common they couldn't be more different. Anyway don't want to ruin it.

So here's what i learned from Up...

• We're only given one shot at this thing called life so pursue what matters to you.

• Don't become so fixated on one goal, plan or direction that it consumes you and you miss out on all of the "unscheduled" adventures along the way.

• Write your plans in pencil

During the on-boarding (brainwashing) my first day with JCP, almost 4 years ago, i met a guy by the name of Larry. I knew Larry was destined for design as he was in his 50's, wore long, curly hair in a "bun" on the back of his head and was sporting a seersucker blazer. As things turned out Larry was actually to be my boss.

About a year later, while beginning to have health problems of my own, Larry started to get sick too. After various tests he announced to the team that he had cancer, terminal cancer. In fact it was at a stage where he only had 3-6 months to live.

I remember sitting with Larry in his office during what would have been his last few weeks at work. I felt a little awkward, i mean what do you say to someone who's dying? Sorry? So that's what i did, i just said "I'm really sorry." Seemed a little inadequate but it's about the best i had.

Larry went on to explain to me that he wasn't sorry. Sure he was disappointed but he had a real peace about what lay before him. Now before you take the offering, no, we're not going there. Put the weird velvet bag with the "horn" handles away. Anyhoo, i digress...

What Larry said was that in his fifty-something years on the planet he'd seen the world, he'd met some amazing people, he'd experienced some incredible things, he'd lived a full life and he had no regrets.

Wow.

Larry died within a few months.

I still think about that short conversation a lot. I think about being in my 50's and being content. Not becoming complacent or giving up. Just living in a place where i could, if i got that news, be happy with the path behind me.

And thats that. Fifteen bucks for movie tickets. Eleven bucks for drinks (smuggled in the candy). And a whole lot of deep thinking.

A new chapter

Tomorrow morning i have an early appointment at the 16th courthouse of Denton. After a brief visit and a couple of signatures i won't be married any more.

Tomorrow marks the conclusion of a year i can only describe as hell. A year in which i've been lied about, misrepresented and slandered. A year in which i've seen two incredible children used as pawns to extort and blackmail for financial gain. A year in which i've seen friends who couldn't see beyond their single-mindedness just disappear.

But i've also seen true friends who didn't always approve or understand rise to become angels. I've seen a family, my family, see beyond personal hurts and love unconditionally on BOTH sides of the situation. I've watched two incredible children adapt to the new shape of their lives. I've seen almost miraculous provision right when i needed it most. And while some have plainly put tried to destroy me i've seen a man in the mirror who's stayed the course, restructured his values and has never, ever been alone.

So at the dawn of a new chapter i pledge to never take what God has given me for granted. To never take lightly the relationships which have stayed true and above all to commit myself once again to be the best father i can to the two most wonderful things that have ever happened to me.

For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "they are plans of good and not of disaster, to give you a future and hope."

~ Jeremiah 29 verse 11

Memorial Day

So i'm not a big proponent of war at all. I think that young kids are often shipped off to face the distinct possibility of death after being sold the idea of patriotism and service in a disingenuous manner. I think that the real reasons behind wars are never truly revealed and often serve the financially fueled agendas of those in power. I think America has often created problems for itself by acting as the "World Police" at times when it was neither wanted or needed.

BUT...

I love America. I can think of no other country on planet earth where I'd rather be. I have benefitted from living here in ways i never could in other parts of the world. I accept that there have been times throughout the course of our history where real threats have made it necessary to participate in real wars and incredibly brave men and women have made the ultimate sacrifice to protect the way of life which we as Americans all hold dear.

So this Memorial Day as you're consuming you're 5th hot dog and wondering why you always feel "bloated", take a moment to remember those who fought for the freedom for you to hang out and eat hot dogs.

Here We Go Again

It's amazing that when i write a post like the one i did Monday in a forward thinking and almost optomistic frame of mind, how quickly it can all turn.

Yes ladies and gentlemen just when we all thought the end was near, someone moved the finish line. Once again the oafish, loafing, self absorbed hand of greed has been thrust under my nose and we're taking a trip down Extortion Avenue.

I pride myself on the fact that since i graduated from college i have done whatever i needed to do to earn a living, provide and take care of my obligations. As an adult and as a man the thought of constantly relying on others to meet my needs makes me cringe. As an adult i derive an enormous sense of gratification from getting up in the morning and working hard. As an adult i strive to rise above situations and circumstances that may appear along the way in this journey and even to better myself. Shame i'm alone in this.

Want Versus Need

I've learned  a lot in the last 12 painful months of my life. One lesson in particular has perhaps stood out above all others and for the first time in 35 years on this journey I think I'm finally beginning to get it. It's the basic concept of want versus need...

What I want...

To be rich (oh come on like you don't). To have the resources to get whatever I want, whenever I want and never have to have a second thought about it.

What I need...

Enough.

What I want...

To be wildly successful in my chosen vocation and make a name for myself that lives on long after I've checked out.

What I need...

To do my best wherever I find myself.

What I want...

For my children to be wildly successful in their own right. For them to have the resources to have whatever they want, whenever they want and to never give a second thought to it. For them to never experience pain, regret or sadness.

What I need...

To love my kids with every fiber of my being and let God take care of the rest.

What I want...

To be loved and respected by everyone in the world.

What I need...

To remember that my worth cannot be shaped or altered by a single human being on this planet. To remember that my value was set before I breathed my first breath by one far greater.

I heard a great prayer from the book of Proverbs a couple of weeks ago in church.

Proverbs 30:7-9 (New International Version)

 ⁷ "Two things I ask of you, O LORD; 
       do not refuse me before I die:

 ⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me; 
       give me neither poverty nor riches, 
       but give me only my daily bread.

 ⁹ Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you 
       and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' 
       Or I may become poor and steal, 
       and so dishonor the name of my God.

 Good stuff. Simple stuff. Words to live by.

Awkward

This is great. A little PG-13 in places but you'll get over it I'm sure.

Click HERE

Pretty pretty pictures

Just wanted to give props (as the "young people" say) to flickr.com an image sharing site where you can wile away hours searching and browsing through millions of people's photos.

To a visual junkie like me it's absolute heaven!

Greedy Dad?

Why does the Rich Dad Poor Dad dude need to keep working?

Just a thought.

Mum

Ok so life hasn't exactly turned out the way i had planned. The white picket fence fell over and is currently being hacked up for firewood. But one constant has stayed the same for the last 35 plus years, I have an incredible mum.

Gill Blackmore is a straight talker, a care taker, a cheerleader, a world class listener, a wiper of noses, a drier of tears, a fixer of breaks, a human dynamo, an unsung hero, a laundry fanatic, an overcomer, a fighter, a voice of reason, an enemy of injustice, a giver of hugs, a protector, a sewing machine maestro, a lover of art and culture, a thinker, a creative genius and a mother to anyone, anywhere in the world, who needs one.

I love you mum and miss you more than i could ever express in a stupid blog.

Happy Mother's Day.

Random Ramblings

OK so i haven't been on here in ages. A lot of stuff with my situation has been going on and didn't want to get on here and spout off about it, doesn't help anyone.

• Went to the mall today. Still searching for signs of the recession although it is the day before Mother's day and I'm sure everyone's out buying goodies for Mom

• Ben's baseball team scored an exciting win last night although Ben himself went hitless. Good to see that a team can still win despite their best player (slight bias) having an off night.

• Carving up the last details of what made us an "us". It's still sad, it still hurts but still necessary.

• Last week's open house was pointless. No one came. Life will be significantly easier in the grands scheme of things if this house sells by the end of July. Not very impressed by the motivation of the realtor who continues to play the "economy" card. Another open house in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed.

• Had a conversation with a friend who's at the beginning of a situation like mine right now. I understand that the law treats Dads the way it does to combat the "deadbeat" minority but what about the rest of us?

• Photos from my aunt's funeral of the extended Blackmore family together made me feel very nostalgic. Also made me feel very old seeing cousin's who've aged in the scores of years since I've seen them. I really don't see myself as having aged that much but I'm perhaps in denial. By the way 67 is way too young to go.

• Slept for 10 hours last night which is really unusual for me but obviously i needed it.

• Got an email from the one member of the "other" family who it saddened me to lose touch with, asking if i wanted to get together later this month. Looking forward to it.

• Had a really weird encounter with some former friends last weekend. People who i'd extended myself for and opened my home and wallet to on a regular basis. They couldn't even look me it the eye. I'm still surprises how people have reacted to me in this situation without ever considering that there might, just might be another side to it all. I know now how the lepers of old must have felt. (I'm doing what i said i wouldn't aren't I?)

• Spending Mother's day tomorrow with a friend and their family who are going through an incredibly rough time right now.

• Looking forward to 10 days in New York with the kids at the end of June. Dad's already bought the Mets tickets!

• I really, really miss my Mum

Photos for LIFE

OK so the good folks at GOOGLE have come up with something I think is fantastic.

They've partnered with LIFE magazine and created a searchable archive of all of the publication's photos.

Don't know if it's new or if it's a permenant fixture but it's very cool.

Check it out HERE.

A moment for art

The work of 2 Illustrators i love...

Click Here

And Here