Weekend's Over

Just returned to a way too empty and way too quiet apartment after another fantastic weekend with my children.

We watched movies, we took walks, we played on the Wii (all hail the Wii), we read stories, we ate junk, we talked, we constructed awesome buildings out of old cardboard boxes. Yeah we rocked.

This morning we went to church the afterwards i took the kids for pizza. While sitting at the table, Ben, who's mind is always somewhere other than right here and now, somehow managed to lift the table with his foot. In doing so my large soda managed to find it's way all over the table, and i was annoyed.

Now, normally i wouldn't breathe, i wouldn't count to 10, i'd most likely go off about this is what happens when you don't pay attention (not his first time by a long shot). But at that moment when i was about to go off, time seemed to stand still. I saw a little boy staring right at me waiting to see how this one was going to play out. And it was in that moment the full weight and responsibility of being a father hit me and i saw that what i said next could mess up this amazing kid's entire day. I flashed back to my own father who i can still remember telling me in the times when i'd messed up badly that he was my dad and nothing i could do would stop him from loving me.

And suddenly it was only soda, we had plenty of napkins and after a few moments of Ben and i cleaning it up it was done.

Being a parent comes with great responsibility (and if you're going to give me crap about where my life is, get off now). Children, particularly at this age, rely oh so much on their parents to shape their own self worth. And we (me) as parents can often forget that what comes out of our mouths plays such a huge part in shaping the people they ultimately become.

By the way that was Ben's third major spill this weekend and the one i handled best. I'm still a work in progress too.